What does not kill us

We were supposed to accept and move on
but the situation has never for once
favoured the just.

أشهد أن لا إله إلا الله

History does not bear witness to weak men
until they take down the strong.

وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ

What does not kill us instantly,
makes us, at best, linger for death!

وأشهدُ أنَّ محمّداً رسولُ الله

And like grief, it kills us slowly
until we are courageous enough to stare at fear-
our own first death- in the eyes.

25/02/23

Apprehension

How do I say “I miss you”
without feeling guilty?

I am headed for disaster,
self inflicted disaster!

Because loving you feels like
an attempt at adopting a viper –
venomous in all glory
that her fangs hiss-
the sweet smell of roses!

Regardless,
what is love without anxiety?
What is love without risks?
What is love without longing for
the improbable that could end us
or end up as disaster?

I am headed for disaster,
self inflicted disaster!

How do I say “I miss you”
without feeling guilty?

– Kara Sugidesu

grief is a silent but icy storm.

I learned how to hold conversations with grief

that come in form of whispers.

Grief prolonged becomes religion.

I am not brainwashed but it feels much safer

as the only adherent.

Every tick of the clock brings the past with it,

so my eyes reel out liquid memories of

beautiful times.

I can recognize which is for each:

the masculine and feminine whispers.

Their thoughts fill in the gaps

between my heartbeats. I feel like

their gatekeeper. Silence!

Each breath is a teardrop of sound

that collects in the dark corner of this

broken mind.

Everything calls for caution

Everything calls for caution but this morning I throw all despair to the winds.

Everything dissolves in time but this morning I mould this moment into a solid statue that would stay longer

UNIMED Seedings Lab

Everything else is either real or an illusion but this morning I embrace the realities of the time.

Everything else sounds terrorizing in my head but this morning I revel in the fact that life will eventually take its course.

Everything calls for caution but this morning I choose to smile at the light in an attempt to engrave this moment in time.

Again and again

Lately, I chose to hide my skin

in the dark

because it feels like

someone is watching.

Lately, all I think about is

how the trees mourn

the loss of leaves;

if they cry in silence.

Lately,

loneliness stings to the bone.

So I always feel weak.

Again and again